Welcome to Week Six:

A Contentious Woman

Opening Remarks:

This is week six of sixteen. We are working through the workbook, A Wise Woman Builds Her House by Erin Thiele. If you missed the former weeks, you can start over with week one, A Wise Woman Builds Her House…On a Rock by clicking here. I hold a copyright release to reprint the book for you here, but you don’t. Therefore, the copying of this material in any form is illegal. I encourage you to buy the workbook. I have worked through it several times over the years. Every time that I do I find that there are new things that we need to work through. I also tend to write prayers in my book. I encourage you to do the same. Journal your thoughts, write prayers, even write confessions. The next time you work through it, you’ll be encouraged at how far you’ve come and how God answers prayers.

Remember that each week’s post is a week’s worth of study. I give it to you all at once for those who choose to work on it all over a weekend and ruminate over the information throughout the week.

As a reminder, this study is for WOMEN ONLY. Just as I encourage women to NOT study what a man should be doing once they marry so they don’t start judging their husband, I am asking the men to give us the same leeway. I am following the dictates of the Bible in Titus 2 for “the older women to teach the younger women to love their husbands and their children.” Thank you for understanding.

        |Chapter 6         |

A Contentious Woman

 

A constant dripping on a day of steady rain and a contentious woman are alike;

he who would restrain her restrains the wind and grasps oil with his right hand. —Proverbs 27:15-16

Ask yourself, “Am I a contentious woman?”

 

Maybe that question is difficult to answer because you’re not exactly sure what a contentious woman is. If we check the Strong’s Concordance, the word contention is “midyan” (mid-yawn) which means a contest, a quarrel, strife, or a quarrelsome and argumentative spirit.

Are your conversations with those in authority over you (like your husband, parents, or boss) usually or many times a contest to see who will win or get his or her way? Do you win most of the time? I confess that I was a contentious wife without even knowing it, and I won often—or maybe most of the time. But, actually, I lost! In 1987, I lost my husband and the life we had as a family. God warns us in His Word about the contentious woman. The Bible says that we perish for a lack of knowledge (Hosea 4:6). Are you aware of God’s warnings?

 

Abandon the quarrel

 

Let me ask this question: Do you ever quarrel? “The beginning of strife is like letting out of water, so abandon the quarrel before it breaks out” (Prov. 17:14). Yet the world, and so-called experts, tells us that a good fight is actually good for a healthy relationship (even marriage)—don’t you believe it! Arguing slowly kills our feelings of love that we have for each other.

 

Full of feasting and strife

 

Is there strife in your home? “Better is a dry morsel and quietness with it than a house full of feasting and strife” (Prov. 17:1). “. . . let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God” (1 Pet. 3:4). Are you the gentle and quiet woman spoken of in First Peter 3:4, who is precious in the sight of God? Or are you a contentious woman?

 

If you have children, are they respectful and obedient? Or are your children loud and unruly? If your children are out of control, contentious, and rebellious, mothers, it is because they are watching your example. (See lesson 15, “Your Mother’s Teachings” for “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge. Because you have rejected knowledge . . .” (Hos. 4:6).)

 

Do you have a quarrelsome spirit?

 

“But refuse foolish and ignorant speculations knowing they produce quarrels. And the Lord’s bond-servant must not be quarrelsome but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged” (2 Tim. 2:23). Are you a “know it all” like I was? Do you have a contrary comment when others have a point of you? God tells us to “Agree with thine adversary quickly while thou art in the way with him, lest at any time thine adversary deliver thee to the judge” (Matt. 5:25, KJV). If you continue with this attitude, you had better watch out for divorce court! Even if you are not yet married, how you act while dating and living at home is just how you will act when you are married.

 

Are you argumentative?

 

“Urge bondslaves to be subject to their own masters in everything, to be wellpleasing, not argumentative” (Titus 2:9). Are you Jesus’ bond slave? Has He bought you with a price? Then you owe it to Him to be well-pleasing, which means not argumentative. Anyone can quarrel. It takes someone led by the spirit to be agreeable!

 

Now that we understand what it means to be contentious, let’s take a look at what God says about a contentious woman. God mentions in His Word five times how awful a contentious woman is.

 

The corner of a roof

 

Have you ever wondered why husbands leave their wives, or children move out of the house as soon as they are old enough? “It is better to live in the corner of a roof, than in a house shared with a contentious woman” (Prov. 21:8). If your mother is or was a contentious woman, then you probably are, or are becoming, one too.

 

Constant dripping

 

Have you ever had a dripping faucet that drove you crazy? “And the contentions of a wife are a constant dripping” (Prov. 19:13). Sometimes it takes someone calling attention to that drip (maybe a friend, or your father-in-law like it did with me) for your husband to notice the dripping, but once he has, that’s all he’ll be able to hear!

 

Desert land

 

Again, it would be easier and preferable to live without water in the desert heat than to live with a woman who challenges authority and tries to control everything and everyone. “It is better to live in a desert land, than with a contentious and vexing woman” (Vexing is defined as exasperating!) (Prov. 21:19).

 

Again, living on a roof

 

God is so adamant about this verse that He repeats it. Are you listening? “It is better to live in the corner of a roof, than in a house shared with a contentious woman” (Prov. 25:24).

 

Who would restrain her?

 

Here again, God tells us about the dripping of a contentious woman. Can you picture how this would eventually become a leaking roof, causing the ones we love to finally move out? Why doesn’t someone just fix the roof? God says that it is impossible. It is like stopping the wind or holding onto oil that drips right through his fingers! “A constant dripping on a day of steady rain and a contentious woman are alike; he who would restrain her restrains the wind and grasps oil with his right hand” (Prov. 27:15-16). Impossible!

 

As we can plainly see, living with a contentious woman is nothing less than a nightmare, not just for a husband but also for the children. Let us pray to ask God’s forgiveness. Let us also pray for His grace to help us to become gentle and quiet women who are precious in His sight.

 

Slander

 

A slanderer reveals secrets

 

One of the most common snares that women fall into is gossiping at work or over the phone. The Greek word for slanderer in the Strong’s Concordance is rakiyl (raw-keel) which means to carry tales; a tale-bearer. Here is what God tells us:

 

Put slander away from you

 

“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice” (Eph. 4:31).

 

Do not associate with a gossip

 

“He who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets, therefore do not associate with a gossip” (Prov. 20:19). I had a friend who would share with me “prayer concerns” that were nothing more than gossip. I had to tell her that because of my weakness, we could no longer be the friends we used to be. This was the first step, confession, to my being rid of this problem.

 

A slanderer is a fool

 

You don’t need to get into details to share a prayer request—don’t be a fool. “And he who spreads slander is a fool” (Prov. 10:18).

 

She who shames him

 

You may find as you get rid of this type of “sharing” that you have nothing to say to your friends. If you resist the temptation to slide back into your old ways, God will be faithful to teach you to edify instead of shaming those you profess to love, especially your husband if you are married.

 

Rottenness to his bones

 

“An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who shames him is as rottenness to his bones” (Prov. 12:4). What kind of why are you going to be? A crown or rottenness?

 

Her husband has no lack of gain

 

“The heart of her husband safely trusts in her and he will have no lack of gain” (Prov. 31:7). This is one of the ways women tear their homes down, by tearing their husband’s reputation down one slandering comment after another. “The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands” (Prov. 14:1).

 

A slanderer separates intimate friends

 

So often, we foolishly tell other people about a weakness of the people we profess to love: a husband, our child, our parents, siblings, and even our best friends. We no longer are trustworthy when we tell someone something they have told us in confidence. Here is the result of that foolishness, “A slanderer separates intimate friends” (Prov. 16:28). We weaken or destroy friendships and relationships, but the consequences are much worse . . .

 

Him I will destroy

 

Here is what the Bible says, “Whoever secretly slanders his neighbor, him [or her] I will destroy” (Ps. 101:5). Another startling fact is that within God’s description of a reprobate in the book of Romans, a slanderer is listed along with a gossip (Rom. 1:29-32). Others may not know that you’re a gossip, slandering others, but it says,

 

Gossip

 

Never speak about anyone in a negative way or reveal secrets (what was told to you in confidence or what happens in your home that should not be shared with others).

 

God tells us:

 

That we will separate our loved-ones from their close friends.

 

That no one should associate with us—especially not other Christians.

 

That gossip is a characteristic of a reprobate!

 

That God will destroy us!

 

That we are acting foolishly.

 

 

Speaking to one another in psalms

 

Instead…

 

…let us put away this behavior and speak “. . . to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord” (Eph. 5:19).

 

 

Where Do We Begin?

 

Be reconciled

 

Today, right now, make a list of each person you need to confess and make things right with, “If therefore you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar, and go your way; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering” (Matt. 5:23-24).

 

If you are married, when your husband comes home, go and ask his forgiveness for your contentiousness and slander. Don’t go on and on with your “little speech”; just tell him briefly that God has convicted you of being loud, argumentative, and sharing things that you would not want him sharing with others. Tell him humbly that with the Lord’s help, you know HE will change you. Then give him a kiss and leave the room!

Make sure that you go through your list without forgetting your children (young and grown), your parents, your siblings, your friends, neighbors ,and your colleagues at work (including your boss).

 

Grace to the humble

 

Also, be sure you are humble; don’t be too proud to admit that you are a contentious and slandering woman. “. . . God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time” (1 Pet. 5:5-6). “Blessed are the humble, for they shall inherit the earth” (Matt. 5:5).

 

Since you still may be hesitant to be open and share your weaknesses as a contentious and slanderous woman, let me share with you why we all are having so much trouble boasting about us, but are willing to share the faults of others.

The Source of Contentions . . . Our Self-Esteem

 

“Now I, Nebuchadnezzar, praise, exalt, and honor the King of heaven, for all His works are true and His ways just, and He is able to humble those who walk in pride” (Dan. 5:37).

 

Why are so many women now so contentious?

 

We women are contentious because we have bought the lie of self-esteem. Even Christian women have imitated the world and the world’s thinking. The books we read, the counselors we seek, the teachers and classes we attend do not reflect God’s Word, which is pure and uncompromising. Current Bible studies and messages from too many of our pulpits have given us a “Christianized” worldly view of what is right and wrong.

 

 

Poison dipped in chocolate is still poison!

 

Precious sisters in Christ, the deadly worldly views are much more dangerous when they are dipped in Christianity, because we ignorantly eat them right up! Without realizing it, we have been brainwashed into thinking that “self-love” and “self-esteem” are important to foster in ourselves and in our children, when they are contrary to God’s Word.

 

“Self-love” and “self-esteem” are the pedestals that we climb up on that insures our fall. “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before stumbling” (Prov. 16:18).

 

They are the source of our contentious attitude. A “know-it-all” will argue and want her own way, because she thinks she is right. Even when she knows she is wrong, she foolishly thinks that her “self-esteem” needs to be protected; there is never a humble word “I was wrong” or an “I’m sorry” spoken. The contentious woman has been conditioned to think that to make an apology would be too humiliating. Pride takes over and lures her to continue to climb up on her pedestal, only to fall again and again.

 

What is the cure?

 

“And when they came to Marah, they could not drink the waters of Marah, for they were bitter; therefore it was named Marah” (Exod. 15:23). Moses threw a tree into the water, a representation of the cross of Calvary. You must also throw in the cross of your bitterness. Christ died to free you from all sin, including your contentions, your arguing, and your prideful, self-absorbed, and selfish behavior.

 

Here is God’s prescription

 

God told us that if we would humble ourselves, seek His face, and turn from our wicked ways, He would heal us. Unfortunately, we ignorantly continue to “walk in the counsel of the wicked” (Ps. 1:1) and “trust in mankind” (Jer. 17:5). That is why we suffer the consequences: only superficial healing, never going to the source and root. “The brokenness of His people is healed superficially” (Jer. 8:11).

 

Look at all the psychology in the church

 

It is extremely dangerous for Christians to act as if man’s ideas or psychology is God’s Word. It is also dangerous to use God’s Word to promote current worldly views in the church. “‘The prophet who has a dream may relate his dream, but let him who has My Word speak My Word in Truth. What does straw have in common with grain?’ declares the Lord . . . ‘Behold, I am against the prophets,’ declares the Lord, ‘who use their tongues and declare, the Lord declares’’” (Jer. 23:28, 30, 31). What does psychology (straw) have in common with God’s Word (grain)? “Self-love” and “self-esteem” are not characteristics of Jesus and are contrary to the way He walked and spoke while on earth.

 

Are you training and encouraging your children to have self-esteem?

 

The word “self-esteem” should make a Christian cringe since it is just another word for “pride,” but even pride is no longer a bad word. This is a wolf’s word in sheep’s clothing! When you build “self-love” and “self-esteem” in your children, you will soon witness a child so self-absorbed that others don’t even like him. It is absurd to think that a child needs to be built up to feel good about himself, as if a child isn’t completely self-absorbed already! From birth a child wants his own way, so he cries. Won’t a two-year-old scream and pitch a fit until he gets what he wants? Don’t young children brag about what they did to anyone who will listen? A child is naturally full of “self-love” and “self-esteem” and to foster it is foolishness.

 

Building your child’s self-esteem

 

There are books, books, and more books written for Christians by Christians, but too many of the teachings are not what God teaches in His Word. Let’s look at what God tells us about building our children’s self-esteem. Let’s find out why we should be careful not to say, “I have my pride!” and “I am so proud of you.”

 

Pride is a sin

 

The pride that was demonstrated by the angel Lucifer, who later became Satan, was the first sin ever committed. “Your heart was lifted up because of your beauty; you corrupted your wisdom by reason of your splendor. I (God) cast you to the ground” (Ezek. 28:17). Satan said, “I will make myself like the Most High” (Isa. 14:14). Yet, we praise our children for their beauty, and we teach them to “go for the top,” to

“reach for the stars,” and to “believe in yourself.” Jesus chose humility and a lowly life so that we would follow in His example, not so we could follow the world’s ways or teach our children to do so.

 

“Self-esteem” is a lie formed by twisting Scripture

 

Satan used Scripture when he tempted Jesus in the desert; he uses it today. He just twists it a little by making it a half-truth. We know that anything that is half true is a lie, lest we forget Abraham and Sarah. (“She is my sister” (Gen. 12:19).) Here is a half-truth or lie:

 

“Love your neighbor as yourself” (Matt. 22:39)

 

Those who believe and practice the religion of psychology will try to tell you that this verse means you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else. In other words, “self-love” is needed first because some of us, or most of us, hate ourselves. Is this the truth or a lie? It is a lie! Why? Because it contradicts God’s Word . . .

 

NO ONE ever hated his own flesh!

 

“For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it” (Eph. 5:29). Jesus taught us that those who are humble will be blessed. We are told to think of others as more important than ourselves.

 

Selfishness or empty conceit

 

“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others” (Phil. 2:3). “Blessed are the humble [gentle, meek] for they shall inherit the earth” (Matt. 5:5). These verses of Scripture are so contrary to the way Christians speak these days because of the influence of psychology among believers. If this type of complacency to God’s Word does not cause you to shudder, it should.

 

The last will be first

 

We have been told, and we teach our children or influence our closest friends, that being first should be their goal and that we cannot please anyone unless we please ourselves. The truth is, “But many who are first will be last; and the last first” (Matt. 19:30). “If anyone wants to be first, he shall be last of all, and servant of all” (Mark 9:35). We all must strive to attain Christ-likeness by living and sharing these kind of verses instead of rambling off the foolish and deadly worldly clichés we have heard.

 

 

The world tells us to speak well of ourselves

 

…but Jesus said, “And whoever exalts himself shall be humbled; and whoever humbles himself shall be exalted” (Matt. 23:12).

 

Learn from Nebuchadnezzar; his grandson didn’t

 

Nebuchadnezzar (see this section’s opening Scripture), who was proud of his power and wealth, was made to be like the cattle of the field, and to eat grass! His grandson knew of his chastisement from the Lord; yet, he still followed in his grandfather’s prideful ways. “Yet you, his son, Belshazzar, have not humbled your heart, even though you knew all this, but you have exalted yourself . . .” (Dan. 5:22-23). The writing was on the wall and that night he and his kingdom was destroyed!

 

Pride is evil—it will cause God to humble you

 

You may think that certain things you go through are humiliating, but God means it for your good. He doesn’t want to humiliate you; He wants to humble you. “For from within, out of the heart of men proceed the evil . . . pride” (Mark 7:21). “For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes and the boastful PRIDE of life, is not of the Father, but is from the world” (1 John 2:16). Pride is never of God!

 

Shall be humbled

 

“For everyone who exalts himself shall be humbled, and he who humbles himself shall be exalted” (Luke 14:11). “. . . unwilling to lift up his eyes to heaven . . . for everyone who exalts himself shall be humbled, but he who humbles himself shall be exalted” (Luke 18:14).

 

Why do you boast?

 

“For who regards you as superior? And what do you have that you did not receive? But if you did receive it, why do you boast . . .?” (1Cor. 4:7). This is what I always keep in mind and tell my children—it is not any of us who have done anything to earn or deserve the blessings or talents that we have, it is only by the grace of God and His goodness!!

 

Instead of pride, we are to die to self

 

“For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God” (Col. 3:3). “. . . He died for all that they who live should no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf” (2 Cor. 5:15).

 

 

God’s interests

 

“But He turned and said to Peter ‘Get behind Me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to Me; for you are not setting your mind on God’s interests, but man’s.’ Then Jesus said to His disciples, ‘If anyone wishes to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life shall lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake shall find it’” (Matt. 16:23).

 

Paul was a good example of how we must put Christ first

 

“For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain” (Phil. 1:21).

 

As we humble ourselves, then God is free to exalt us

 

“. . . clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time . . .” (1 Pet. 5:5-6). “God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble . . . Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you” (James 4:6, 11). “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Phil. 4:13). Exalt Christ above yourself, and give HIM the glory for everything you accomplish or are blessed with.

 

Jesus should be our example

 

We must always look to our Lord, in all things, and the way He walked on this earth. “Have this attitude [humility] in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore also God highly exalted Him and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name” (Phil. 2:5-9).

 

Daniel also

 

“. . . for from the first day that you set your heart on understanding this and on humbling yourself before your God, your words were heard . . .” (Dan. 10:12).

 

What shall we do if we have been prideful?

 

 

Learn from the Lord

 

“Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart” (Matt. 11:29).

 

Boast in the Lord

 

“But he who boasts, let him boast in the Lord. For not he who commends himself is approved, but whom the Lord commends” (2 Cor 10:17-18).

 

Don’t praise yourself

 

“Let another praise you and not your own mouth; a stranger and not your own lips” (Prov. 27:2).

 

 

If you don’t humble yourself?

 

“Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes and clever in their own eyes” (Isa. 5:21).

 

“Do you see a man wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him” (Prov. 26:12).

 

“For anyone who thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself” (Gal. 6:3).

 

“Surely God will not listen to vanity, neither will the Almighty regard it” (Job 35:13).

 

“For all of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous deeds are like a filthy garment; and all of us wither like a leaf and our iniquities, like the wind take us away” (Isa. 64:6).

 

“An arrogant man stirs up strife, but he who trusts in the Lord will prosper. He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, but he who walks wisely will be delivered” (Prov. 28:25-26).

 

“And He said to them, ‘You are those who justify yourselves in the sight of men, but God knows your hearts; for that which is highly esteemed among men is detestable in the sight of God’” (Luke 16:15). “And He humbled you and let you be hungry . . .” (Deut. 8:3).

 

Can you see any Scripture where God instructs us to build up our self-esteem? Are you able to find anywhere in Scripture where God instructs us to teach our children to have self-esteem? Are we to “pride ourselves” in what we have done, made, or accomplished? What will our flattering do to those we love, especially our children?

 

Personal commitment:

To put away my contentious ways

“Based on what I have learned from God’s Word, I commit to renew my mind and to be a doer of the Word by putting away my contentious and prideful ways.”

Date: ________________

 

 

Signed: ___________________________

 

 

Notes:

Homework

 

Let your mind dwell on these things

 

“Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things” (Phil. 4:8).

1. 3×5 cards. First, write down the verses from this lesson that have touched your heart. Then continue to keep these cards in your purse and bring them out regularly as the Holy Spirit prompts you.
2. Be a doer, not just a hearer. “But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty, and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an effectual doer, this man shall be blessed in what he does” (James 1:25).
3. Share the wisdom from this lesson with one other CONTENTIOUS woman who might be searching for the Truth.

 

Write her name on this line.

 

_____________________________

God Is so Good

 

Jane* was dragged into a Restore Ministries fellowship by a friend. She sat there angrily as we shared how to obey God and trust Him to turn our marriages around. Finally, Jane spoke up and told us that she didn’t even want her marriage to be saved. She said she wanted to get divorced and find someone new. She said she hated her husband, her parents, everyone. She told us she would not forgive anyone and she would never come back to “this nutty group!”

 

God said that man plans his way but God directs his steps. (Prov. 16:9) God can turn the heart whichever way He chooses. (Prov. 21:1) And if we believe, we can move mountains. (Matt. 17:20) This was certainly a mountain of anger, but we believed His Word when He said that nothing was impossible for Him! (Matt. 19:26).

 

We began praying and standing on the Scriptures, as well as agreeing that this was the Lord’s battle. We heard that divorce papers were filed and that soon afterwards, the initial court hearing was scheduled. At each sign of defeat, we prayed harder.

 

One day, a month or so later, a pretty girl walked into the fellowship. We almost didn’t recognize her. It was Jane, but the anger and hate was gone from her face! This time no one dragged Jane in; she came on her own. She said that on the day of the hearing, God had turned both her heart and her husband’s heart around. As she and her husband sat on the bench waiting for their case, her husband looked at her and said, “What are we doing here? Let’s go home.” He took Jane’s hand and they went home.

 

Jane said that she came back to learn how to be a “godly wife and mother.” God is so Good!

 

* Not her real name. “An excellent wife is a crown of her husband, but she who shames him is as rottenness in his bones” (Prov. 12:4).

 

For more testimonies of restored marriages, read By the Word of Their Testimony available through

Restore Ministries International at wwwRestoreMinistries.net

 

My notes:  With the World the way it is these days, it’s hard not to find some of these faults in most women. Just walk through your local WalMart, Target, or other big box store. Women are ripping apart their husbands – either right there or on the phone. I remember once hearing a woman LOUDLY going on and on tearing someone down on the phone. Her tone was so nasty, her language so bad, and she was SO loud that I had no choice but to hear her phone conversation 2 or 3 aisles over. When we ended up closer I saw she had several young children with her. As she continued her tirade the kids got antsy and one talked nastily to the other. The mom slaps the kid and says, “you watch that mouth of yours, where’d you learn that?” I wanted SO bad to walk up to her and ask her where she thought they learned that language. But I didn’t. The kids looked at me and I just pointed to her. They giggled and shook their heads yes. What a SHAME that she was teaching them to act that way. Then to abuse them for duplicating HER bad behavior just compounded her sin. If she still had a husband around, you have to wonder how she treated him. 

 

I think gossip is the hardest thing to break. The world practically runs on gossip. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, cell phones, text messages, on and on it goes. A lifetime ago when I was a little girl we had a “party line” phone. I think the rules were that you couldn’t talk on the phone for more than 20 minutes at a time. We shared the line with 3 other “parties.” They could listen in and we couldn’t do anything about it. The point is, our phone calls were short. They had to be. My mom couldn’t talk to her sister very often because she move 40 minutes west and that was in another “zone” so it was long distance. Long distance was expensive, so calls were few and far between. We wrote letters, so you thought about what you were going to write. You didn’t write long because your hand would cramp… Chores were hard, all that ironing and cooking decent meals from scratch every night. You just didn’t have time to gossip. Today we chatter all day long in one form or another. We write in shorthand and people take it the wrong way and offenses run wild. 

 

Then there’s the pride and vanity thing. There’s a difference between looking nice and bragging about the hundreds of pairs of shoes you own. That’s pride and vanity. Looking nice to please your husband or the Lord is a whole lot different from impressing your family, friends, or filling a void in your character. 

 

I think we can all use some help in this area. I hope you will go through the study carefully, asking God to search your heart and see if there is any wicked way in you, then confess your sin and repent (turn away from) whatever that is. I plan to do the same. 

 

God Bless you!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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